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Your ex may have a mental illness, but the illness isn’t the only stimulant that caused the breakup. This is why most borderline people appear very clingy, angry, nagging, desperate, controlling—and extremely emotional at times. So much so that they start arguments out of the blue and demand solutions. Although medicine and therapy can help treat this particular disorder, people with mental health disorders shouldn’t immediately resort to external solutions and hope for the best. Most just justify their actions with their feelings and perceptions and continue to react impulsively to them.
Hi, I’m Megan, a Community Leader here at The Mighty who also runs the “BPD Safe Zone” group. I love board games, traveling, and large quantities of ice cream. You can follow my personal journey at Living On The Borderline, or check out my writing on The Mighty, Thought Catalog, Unwritten, Thrive Global, Moms, and Project Wednesday. I desire validation and dedication, so I frequently say, “I love you” when talking to those I love. I will message or call my friends almost daily just to let them know I care or to check on them.
Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Happy
My issue is that the term borderline personality disorder has become so negative that it stigmatizes those so diagnosed. This terminology has taken on a life of its own, and causes many people with this diagnosis to feel shunned and rejected, which leaves them feeling more hopeless. The key to living a happy relationship with a borderline personality disorder person is to get an accurate diagnosis for their mental health issue and find the right therapy and professional advice.
What You Need to Know When Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder
Relationships require work, compromise, communication, empathy, and understanding. Things become even more complicated if you are dating someone with Borderline Personality Disorder . The most common accusation people with BPD get is a claim of manipulation – which is true, but usually of ourselves, warping our thinking into believing all sorts of irrationalities.
Find a Therapist
They may also restart the relationship cycle, thinking about how perfect you were and wondering if they can get you back. If the relationship is over, the partner living with BPD could spiral down into thoughts of low self-worth and experience symptoms of depression. During this stage, your partner may fixate on thoughts that you’re going to leave, but they may hide these away, maintaining a façade that everything is OK. They could alternately ask you repeatedly to confirm your feelings and interest. Social distance may spur feelings of sexual nostalgia for previous partners. Don’t take it personally when your loved one exhibits symptomatic behavior.
Dating a man with Borderline Personality Disorder
Because it frequently co-occurs with other diseases such as “depression, bipolar disorder, substance addiction, eating disorders, and anxiety disorders,” BPD is known as a misunderstood disorder. If you suspect your partner has BPD but they refuse to get treatment, couples counseling may be beneficial. Couples counseling can teach you how to communicate with your partner more effectively and manage your relationship more efficiently.
Either way, you can start to get a glimpse into their lens of the world, which is everyone is against them. The first step to communicating effectively with someone who has borderline personality disorder is understanding them. Often, borderlines are so used to feeling misunderstood that it can be hard for them to find a way to communicate themselves in an understandable way.
Romantic relationships present a unique set of challenges for people with BPD and for their partners. Though everyone deserves to experience love, the pursuit can seem terrifying with a condition like BPD. Aziz-Kamara calls for those without BPD to remember, “Our capacity to feel can lead to a lot of hurt, but it also means we have an incredible potential to love and be your person.” Unlike me, Navabi has had a healthy dating history since being diagnosed in July 2020 and has been using any negative experiences to inform her next steps. “My desire for companionship overcame my fears around dating successfully,” she says. If you find yourself forcing a fit with someone, he recommends really paying attention to the emotions you feel in the moment.
Symptoms of borderline personality disorder can cause constant changes in emotions. This means people with BPD may have rocky relationships, both romantic and platonic. Navabi believes her latest relationship success was partly due to not overthinking it. Stopping herself from second-guessing other people’s intentions has allowed her more freedom within the relationship.
Romantic relationship to end, sadly, not in a peaceful way. Many people around BPD sufferers don’t understand what’s happening. Some might say that they are just overreacting or everything is just normal and so on. Sadly, these are unavoidable, we all get hurt, but since BPD and relationships are connected, this traumatic event can act as one of the BPD triggers.